Its Balloch and great
a platform debate
The usual commuters
theres Bill at the Gates
Smoking Carriage One
a nice smell of shag
I do smoke, more I love
its results, the Craic

The train pulls
and we puff away
Sitting opposite is Doris McDay
She wants to play chess
with a set of dice
Aff her heid since
the Rock ran away.

Alexandria appears
at the heart of the rails
Benjamin Disraeli jumps on
a spring in his tails
Underneath a tracksuit
he's the real deal
After your mushrooms
his game is to steal

We enter a Republic
the Renton no less
A Jameston accent alights
he must be a guest
The atmosphere gets heavy
maybe its fake
its hard to tell,
sometimes paranoia don't smell

We are crossing the river
I'm losing the plot
Dalreoch already
I might jump on a boat
Calm down, mind the gap,
I'll try a quick drag
Though its no longer shag
at the end of the bag

Dumbarton seems hazy
or are we more east
Do I get off or
just tune in to the geese
This train is rocking
somewhere near Bowling
Great railway journeys persist
never ban smoking

Chorus
Great Railway Journeys
of The Western World
Central Balloch to Dumbarton East
Leven the Vale
(mind the Gap) at Dalreoch